What Would I Tell 21-Year-Old Me?

I recently saw this question posed in an Instagram post and naturally it got me thinking.

I'm 36. 21 seems so long ago, and yet as if it were yesterday. A lot has happened in the interim years, a lot has changed - in myself, in the world, in the people I know. I'm married, happily, and have a beautiful baby boy and I am blessed to be a stay at home dad who cares for him 4 days of the week while his mummy works to bring the money in.

I'm in a band, which is fun and has some potential to become something in the local scene (well I would say that). I want for nothing, besides material things that I can save for.

You could say my life is as close to perfect as anyone has a right to expect. So - what would I tell 21-year-old me?

To borrow from Nike's advertising slogan - "Just do it", or words to that effect.

My whole life only one person has truly held me back - me. Sure, I can point to various authority figures and ascribe an amount of blame to them for failing to help me believe in myself, for putting me down when I needed lifting up, for telling me "music is a hobby". But ultimately I must accept responsibility for myself and my actions and decisions along the way. Every time I took the easy way out, or let depression and anxiety of the potential negative outcomes keep me from even trying, I let myself down.

Once upon a time I was a promising musician. I had a very small following locally who would ask when is the next gig, thrilled to be part of what I was doing. But I had to "get a proper job" which only increased my anxiety and lowered my energy levels such that I eventually stopped pursuing the dream altogether. Use it or lose it as they say.

Now, a married father, my capacity for taking any kind of risk is limited by the need to support my family. I am in a band now, my third in two years of living in Netherlands, and the first that truly feels right. Like most of the other guys in the band, family commitment prevents it from being much more than a hobby at this time. Sure, we have the opportunity to find our place in the local scene, to become a part of something comfortable and exciting, but I can hardly run off on tour and shirk my responsibilities at home.

So, 21-year-old me. Just do it. Get out there, make a name for yourself, find your place, before it's too late and your place is at home. Before you wake up, look in the mirror and see a fat, balding man approaching middle age.

Just do it.